THIS IS WORK FOR ME?

Yes, of course I could use as much money as possible at the moment given all the expenses I'm about to incur in my adventure East and I'm not exactly making bank with my current job, but honestly, at the end of the day, to be getting paid to hang out with kids and participate in fun activities that I'd like to do anyways, I'm quite lucky. The days can in fact be long and exhausting but ultimately they are rewarding and that is often a rarity when it comes to work. Through this job I've been given the chance to enter the lives of these teenagers, serving as a friend and mentor (and often feeling like a parent as well -- I'm getting some good practice for later on in life, Lord willing) and sharing in their adventures, some experiencing things for the first time. This experience has reiterated my desire to be invested in people and their lives and excites me all the more to be able to go to school to learn how to do so even more effectively. And in the meantime, as I count down the days until my departure, I'm reveling in the fact that I'm getting paid to go bowling, ride horses on the beach, go hiking, play games, go to theme parks and fun centers, and go camping (for the first time!), among other things. Life is good, crazy in how it works, but good none-the-less.


(here I am slaving away at work on our recent two-night camping trip in the San Juan Islands)

CONFESSION TIME

If you know me (which I'm assuming that you do -- at least to some extent -- if you're reading this), you know that I'm a pretty frugal and simple person. I mainly do my grocery shopping based off of whatever is on sale at the moment at the grocery store (which then leads to my preoccupation with the "you saved $____ today" line on the receipt that makes me feel as though I just won a minor victory). I'm an adamant defender of the gas stations with "bad" gas because they coincidentally are the ones with the cheapest prices around and as such I also insist on filling up there . . .after all, good 'ol Vince is still running like a champ. And while I do like to look nice, I'm by no means a slave to fashion, the latest trends/designers, and the price-tag that comes with it all. However, I have come to realize that there's an area in my life where my frugality is weakened and my standards are high. It's true, I'm high maintenance when it comes to the place that I live. I'd like to think that it's only a new development that came about after having lived in a darkened basement where the only common area was the entry/kitchen/dining room/laundry room combination, but the first step in recovery is to admit your problem and I think that to be able to move forward I have to be painfully honest in saying that this trait has been long-standing. After all, even though it wouldn't fit my standards today, I did pick out some pretty amazing neon-green wallpaper with daisies on it for my bedroom when I was younger in an effort to have the 'perfect' girl room. As of late, I've seen this form of high maintenance rearing its head again in the midst of my squaring away living arrangements for Virginia. In all reality, should a two-toned cupboard circa the 1980s really be a deciding factor in where one lives? For any normal person, probably not, but for me, if I'm scrolling through possible places to live and I spot a picture of white, vinyl-covered cupboards with brown, wood edges that viable housing option is tossed out. And, call me crazy, but I also am not interested in a place where animals (namely dogs) are not allowed. Not that I have any animals that would be coming along with me, but wouldn't a dog just be lovely? I think so. And I don't want to wind up at a place where my dream of having a pooch wouldn't ever have a chance to become a reality. There's quite a few other deciding factors that some might classify as 'picky' (alright, even I know that they are picky) but you can't blame a girl for wanting the place that she lives to truly be her home. . .even if that means forgoing one's money-saving tendencies in order to secure a place that meets their expectations. If I'm going to be high maintenance in an area of my life, I suppose that this is as good as any, but perhaps I'll still try and tame the beast a bit. We'll see how that goes depending on where I wind up living. As for now, I think I'll go fill up at Arco. . .

FLASHBACK TO CHILDHOOD

Oh to be a kid again, to live in the world of sandboxes, legos, recess, barbies, and so on and so forth. I'm sure that at least one or two of us have wished to experience those joyful simplicities with such childlike fascination once again. . .lucky enough for me, I get to do so on a daily basis during the weekdays. It brings me so much happiness to see that wall-ball and two/four-square have not gone extinct since I was a wee-one myself. I love the fact that in spite of all of the changes in society and technology, at the core of things, children are still children and still find enjoyment in activities that have been around for ages. In addition to the way that they play, many of you who may not have the opportunity to be around children often will be pleased to know that kids do in fact still say the darndest things. Here's a recent sampling of what I've overheard and/or experienced as of late:

Kid: "If I keep digging, I think I'll end up in Brooklyn."

Me: "Did you wash your hands?"
Kid: "Yep."
Me: "Can I smell them then?"
Kid: ". . .", smiles mischeviously as they walk towards the bathroom to go wash their hands

Kid A: "If you go and get Johnny* for me I'll be your friend."
Kid B: (said with a face aglow of hope) "Best friend?!"

Kid: "I'm going to follow you around forever . . .well, until my mommy comes, then I'll follow her."

Kid: "Me and Susie's* parents created all the countries in the world and we speak every language."
Me: "That's so neat. Sprechen Sie Deutsch?"
Kid: blank stare followed by a tilting of the head and a smirk, "We're not allowed to speak the languages around other people though."

Me: "Did you just get that out of the trash?"
Kid: "Yeah, I always eat stuff out of the garbage."

Kid: "Just write my name down as Kung Fu Master."

Oh, to be a kid again. = )

*names have been changed to protect the (mostly) innocent

VIRGINIA IS FOR LOVERS

After much thinking, praying, and coin-tossing, the decision has been made. Come August I will be making my way across the country to Virginia Beach, VA to get my masters in human services counseling. I'm really looking forward to this next adventure in my life and what that means for my future as a whole, only time will tell exactly what will come of all of this but I'm excited to find out.

EENY, MEENY, MINY, MO

The word is in, I've been accepted into three of the four grad. schools that I applied to . . . and now it's time to make a decision. I've got some thinking and deliberating to do, or maybe I'll just make it easier and pull a name from the hat. More to come. . .

REJUVENATED AND YET STILLED

As a result of where my life has led me in these past 7 months or so, lately, I have felt even more so like a caged bird who's ready to soar outside of the confines of her relatively self-built bars. I am thrilled at the reality that I will undoubtedly be going to graduate school somewhere along the Eastern seaboard this fall (although the final 'where' is yet to be decided upon and the finances still need finagling), but I can't help but grow a bit impatient in knowing that I am still months away from that step forward in life taking place. Yes, these 7 months have provided a time of refinement and growth, as well as a new life direction and various opportunities/experiences that came about that I otherwise would not have encountered, but they have also led me to feel as though my life at current is on hold and that it is quite nondescript. In spite of some larger-scale changes (i.e. actually being employed now, hallelujah!) I kind of liken myself to a caterpillar who hides in their cocoon until they can emerge as a stunning butterfly in that I actually find myself wanting to shelter the reality of my life from others until I feel as though it is something that I am proud of, until I'm doing something a bit closer to grand than what I'm doing (and have been doing) now. Over the course of these months, my heart has constantly been stirred with this desire to be somewhere/doing something more grandiose, stemming from a mixture of indignity, ambition, envy, and hope, to the point that now that I'm on the cusp of heading in that direction the idea of waiting any longer makes my heart want to leap out of my chest. I'm being forced to re-learn this idea of patience that I once thought I wasn't so bad at. Increasingly, I've become aware that in the midst of my longings for my future and dealing with its alter-ego, the less-exciting current reality, I really haven't taken the time to focus on other aspects of my life, most notably, my walk with God. To rectify that situation, today I stole away to a place that provided that refuge and breath of life that I was so desperately in need of. I found myself enveloped not only in the beauty of God's creation but also in His peace. It's an amazing thing how such an escape can both bring one to life again and at the same time also subdue certain thoughts and feelings, on both accounts, it was exactly what I needed. I walked away from my brief sojourn knowing that I am blessed to live the life that I do (yes, even in its current state) and trusting that even though I might not be where I intended to be at this point in my life I am where God intended me to be and His plan/timing is ultimately better than my own. I now see these next few months that lie ahead in a different light and I do believe that I will be able to maintain some semblance of patience until I get to take that next step in my life, all while being able to revel in the here and now and the experiences that my current reality presents to me.