29: The Year of Trying

Who am I? What do I enjoy? What am I passionate about? These are all questions that one would hope to have a strong answer to, especially at this stage of life. And yet, I’ve found that I don’t know if I really, truly have concrete answers for them.

I do know that I once loved writing, do I still? My intention is to find out by documenting my new, focused endeavor of discovering who God has designed me to be. Akin to the experience that Julia Robert’s character in Runaway Bride had where she attempts to decipher how she likes her eggs, this year I’m going to try a variety of activities, interests, disciplines to [hopefully] gain answers to the aforementioned questions. I desire to identify the things that make me genuinely excited and fired up, that make me feel alive; to stop doing things due to the dreadful “shoulds.” I desire to step out of my comfort zone unreservedly to experience what God has had planned for me all along that I have been too hesitant, too complacent to step into; to stop telling myself that certain things are intended for certain people, of whom I am not one [lies, I tell ya]. I desire to have a full-on, authentic, real and raw relationship with God that is uniquely my own, figuring out what works best for me, personally, to know Him more and to live a life with Him at the center of it; not falling into the rote religious life. I desire to know thyself . . . and thus, know God better as well as His intentions for fully engaging in life and in community with others.

It may be uncomfortable, confusing, frustrating at times, but it also may be invigorating, joyous, rewarding. I think that 29 could just very well shape up to be my best year yet. Buckle up, here we go . . .