I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET. . .HOPEFULLY

Dear East Coast,

I'm not going to lie, this break up has been hard on me. I've been able to enjoy a lot of this past month when I've been around my family and friends, but in the still moments where it's just me and my thoughts, the fact that we're not together right now hits me hard. Remembering our time together, sometimes it feels as though it was all just a dream and never happened in the first place, other times, a grieving feeling rises up from the pit of my stomach and makes me acknowledge that I lost something I truly loved. I know this was my own doing, and I apologize for ending things rather unexpectedly and abruptly, but I had to do what I had to do at the time. I'm still trying to figure out where you fit in my life, but I'm pretty sure that the saying 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' rings true here. I don't know what the future holds, but I hope that you haven't written me off just yet. Give me time, and hopefully we can work through this. Until then. . .

With love,

HAVING FAITH WHEN IT'S MOST TOUGH TO HAVE IT

"Again and again, Ordinary lost his way. Again and again, he cried out for the Dream Giver to show him the way. But no answer came. Why had he ever trusted the Dream Giver to guide him in the first place?"

How often do we find ourselves floundering in the midst of our attempts to find our way in life? How often do we cry out for help, direction, guidance, only to be met with silence? It's so easy, at least for me, to get frustrated and upset at those times. To wonder why I can't ever seem to stay on track. Or to wonder why God is not making His way known to me in spite of my crying out and my so-called 'trust' in Him. But to allow those times to have a foothold on our lives, to wallow in what we perceive our reality to be, we miss out on the opportunity to extract meaning from those instances. Looking back on particular instances in my life, there were times where something beyond my control happened and set my life heading in a different direction than I had planned, than I had prayed for, and to be honest, in the heat of the moment my reaction at those times consisted of being distraught, feeling lost and even betrayed. Given time, and with the clarity of hindsight, though I was able to see that it was those same instances that procured opportunities for my life that would not have happened otherwise, that turned out to be better things than what I had been planning for myself. Those seasons of life allowed me to learn more about myself, to grow in new ways, and to readjust the way in which I trusted God -- no longer trusting that He'll provide what it is that I think that I want, but trusting that He'll provide what He knows that I need. They may not be easy times of life but in persevering and having faith they may provide even greater things for us yet.

"Later that same day, Ordinary was eating some fruit beside a trickle of water, when he saw his journey through the WasteLand in a whole new way. Food enough for the day. Water, when he needed to drink. A path to follow that led to Faith. How could he have been so blind? Even when the Dream Giver had been nowhere in sight, he had always been near." - The Dream Giver

LIFE'S UNFOLDING JOURNEY

Boomerang. A flying apparatus that, when thrown properly, returns to where it was thrown from. As applied to humans, a person who spreads their wings to fly and yet returns right back to where they started from. This is my second time boomeranging. I’m chagrined to admit it, but it’s the truth and therefore is inescapable – believe me, I’ve tried to escape it and you just can’t outrun the truth, dang. On one hand, I suppose the current state of my life could be perceived as a good thing in that A. having a quarter-life crisis may eliminate having a mid-life crisis later on, or, at least, B. it will make a mid-life crisis seem like a walk in the park – I’m pulling for A. At any rate, here I am, wondering just what it is that I’m doing here and attempting to figure out what’s next to come in this journey of life. I find myself floating somewhere between uneasiness and optimism, fearful of getting stuck in a rut, of settling, but hoping to overcome such things and make my future into whatever I want it to be. Just today I dove back in to one of my favorite books, Bruce Wilkinson’s The Dream Giver, and have been eating up every word of it, finding insight and encouragement that I've unconsciously been in need of. In particular, this snippet was among many which stuck with me today: “He wouldn’t waste another day waiting for his Dream to seem possible. He would find a way to pursue it.” Fabulous. And so, in this season of adventures, and misadventures, and with a new sense of gumption inspired by Mr. Wilkinson’s work, my intention is to move beyond the possibilities of my dreams into the probability of them. Making use of this time in my life to enjoy the freedom of where I'm currently at all while whole-heartedly pursuing my dreams until they are a reality, until they are what's next in my life's journey. Here we go. . .

-

-

“Isn’t it time to begin? You’ve waited long enough.
Your dream is beating in your chest.
Do you feel it?
Tell your friends the news.
Pack your bags.
It’s time to follow the Dream Giver on the journey to your Dream.” – The Dream Giver

RANDOMNESS IN ALL ITS GLORY

If you've spent enough time with me you're probably well aware of my love for the word random. *Ahem, note the title of the blog.* I tend to use the word a little too often, quite typically to describe things that may not really be random in all actuality. According to Merriam-Webster though the definition of random is as such: "lacking a definite plan, purpose, or pattern." Interesting. No wonder I love random so much, that definition is pretty much an accurate summation of my life. I would like to argue that most of life, not just my own, is in fact random when you think about it though. After all how many things in life truly are definite anyway? We may intend for them to be definite but that doesn't necessarily mean that they will be, there are almost always circumstances, matters, experiences, etc. beyond our control that can effect what happens. One of my favorite quotes reads: "Make your plans. But write them on paper, not in concrete. God and life have a way of intruding and leading you on a journey that you might not have anticipated in your wildest dreams." God knows His plans for us but to us life is often random, and people are random too, and so sometimes the best thing we can do is to trust in God, hold on tight, and enjoy the ride. Besides, randomness adds a little spice to life. Don't you think?


And now, simply for your viewing pleasure, I leave you with some of my favorite random (by my own definition) pictures. Enjoy:

A Jesus nightlight

A drive-in liquor store

"Pin the Baby in the Manger"

Mr. No-Sleeve Sweatshirt riding a horse bareback


An unfortunate Native American by the name of Young Man Afraid of His Horses

ODE TO FRESHMAN YEAR

To all you wide-eyed college freshmen out there, as someone (among millions) who's been where you are now, here are a few words of wisdom as you embark on your first year of college:

- regardless of if your living situation was your first choice or not, try and make the most of it

- make your dorm room as 'homey' as possible, even if it means nauseatingly bright colors everywhere

- get involved in campus activities (i.e. intramurals), not only is it a great way to meet new people but it will help you keep your sanity in the midst of all of your schoolwork

- take advantage of 'inclimate weather' days to ditch the books for awhile and enjoy whatever the weather brought with it

- be sure to get off of campus and explore your surroundings (besides, it's a great opportunity to pose for pictures)

- surround yourself with people whose company you enjoy

You'll come to find, learning while in college doesn't take place only within the classroom, it happens wherever you go and in whatever you do -- it takes place in your interactions with your peers, it happens in the midst of attending sporting events, and it even manifests itself when you're doing your own laundry for, perhaps, the first time in your life. Take this time to learn and grow in whatever capacity possible, drink it all in, and let it be a stepping stone to even greater things for you.